The relationship we have with ourselves plays an important role in how we help our children learn. Since they learn so much from what they see us do, we need to keep ourselves in a positive, resourceful state to do our best with them.
Sometimes we talk with ourselves in ways we wouldn’t talk with a friend. A mom shared with me that she tells herself that if she doesn’t do xxxxx, she’ll be a loser. I observed another mom in a grocery store parking lot banging on her car and saying over and over, when she locked the keys in the car as her young daughter watched nearby, “How could you be so stupid? When will you ever learn not to be so stupid?”
In a quiet moment, reflect on what it would it feel like to talk with yourself with a bit more compassion. Sometimes it helps to take a deep breath and imagine, “What would I say to a friend who was feeling bad because he made a mistake? Would I berate him when he’s already feeling bad or would I listen and offer a helpful ear?”
What impact would modeling self-compassion have on your relationship with your children?